Not every couple wants to raise kids right away. Some couples desire to wallow in their married life first before parenting. While there are those couples who simply don’t want children at all. This is something others may look down upon. But who cares? The important thing is that the couple is on the same page. By the couple, I mean me and my husband.
We have been under the same roof for almost 5 years now and I’m proud to say that we have been childfree from the get-go. We intend to keep it that way. How do we do that? It’s actually not as difficult as you might think. Since it’s our decision to not reproduce, we do it with full commitment and cooperation. It’s really important to be open and honest with each other. These are the methods that worked or have been working for us.
Oral Contraceptives
I was on the pill around 4 years ago but I had to discontinue maybe after a year because birth control pills are not available over-the-counter here in Japan. That time, my husband had to buy them online but I was really doubtful about the brand’s authenticity. Also I was experiencing a few minor side effects. But even if I religiously took the pills, we were still both careful during sexual intercourse. This leads us to the next method.
Pull Out Method
Also known as withdrawal method. It’s exactly what it sounds like: your partner has to pull his penis out of your vagina before he ejaculates. My husband does this all the time unless it’s our “safe day”, which means I am not ovulating so it’s safe for him to cum inside me. This method should be done correctly every single time. Ejaculation must be done away from your vagina. I give my whole trust to my husband in this method. He just knows what to do. If you can’t trust your partner with this one, don’t do this! You can still do this but be sure you are days away from your ovulation period.
Condom
We don’t use this now as much as we did before. When we do use this, my husband still does the pull out method. Or we only use this when I am not fertile. So when there’s a slip up, we’re still safe.
Abstinence from Sex
This is the best method I should say. We just don’t have sex all the time and most especially when my body is telling me that I’m ovulating. After the pill, my menstruation has been regular and I have a period tracking app that’s very useful for me. When the app notifies me of my ovulation period and alerts me that there’s a high chance of getting pregnant, I relay the message to my husband. So we abstain from sex until we are in the clear. And we’re totally okay with it because sex isn’t everything in marriage. Sexual intercourse isn’t the only way to build intimacy. I’d be lying if I said we didn’t get sexually aroused from time to time. Of course, humans as we are, we do get this feeling but we have other ways to release that tension. Safe and clean, take note of that.
As a conclusion, women have the most vital role so you have to pay close attention to your body. Educate yourself with facts. You must know when you are fertile or not because that’s what it’s all about. It’s your responsibility to be aware of it especially if you don’t want an unplanned pregnancy. Then communicate well with your husband. It takes discipline to make this possible. At first it was a little scary but I’ve learned a lot. We have learned a lot over the years. Doing this has taught us to be more attentive to each other. Others might think it’s a boring sex life, but their opinions don’t matter to me. We are content with our life and that’s what matters most.
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The Pinay Ajumma 