Back home, I was enjoying my job as an ESL teacher for almost 5 years. Good 5 years indeed! As I was preparing myself to leave everything behind me, I admit I was concerned about my future career in a whole new place. Building a career in an unfamiliar place like Japan is undeniably daunting. But I told myself to expect nothing and be happy because I’d finally be in my husband’s arms which was the main reason why I had to pack up and leave.
About a year after arriving here, I started teaching English at an IT company for probably over a year. It was a part-time job but it felt like home and I was so glad to be given the opportunity to do what I enjoy doing, that’s teaching. Despite feeling purposeful because I was making my own money, something just didn’t feel right deep inside. There was heaviness. The nature of my job kept me from taking care of my husband the way I envisioned myself doing. His job is quite demanding so he usually comes home late. But according to him, he has changed his working habits since I came here. He used to stay at work longer than now. Still, he comes home mentally drained and surely needs some attention and care.
I wanted to give him my full attention. So when he told me that he needed a wife, not a money maker as a joke, I took it seriously. At first, I thought my presence was enough for him. But having a spouse that fully pays attention to you is totally different. He said that he would be happier if I could fulfill my duties as his wife without feeling guilty of not being able to financially contribute because that would be his responsibility. He owned that responsibility and I couldn’t be prouder of him. He married me to be his partner in all aspects of life except for financial matters. This is something I am beyond grateful for. We aren’t rich. We have enough. We could have more if both of us would work our asses out but we just don’t want more. It’s safe to say that we have all we need now.
What will you do with your wealth if your relationship is falling apart? What’s the use of having all the things you want but losing the only thing you need? I’ve asked myself these questions and one day I woke up deciding to be a full time housewife. I told the company that I needed a break and everyone was so understanding that they didn’t ask me deeply about it and just told me that their door will always be open for me. It’s been about 2 years since the day I traded in my teaching career for times spent cooking in the kitchen for my hungry husband, waiting for him to come home, putting his things in place, keeping our house tidy especially with a dog and a bunch of other stuff I never thought I could do or would do. Being a lazy person, if you know me, I’m truly proud of what I’ve become now. I know things may change but right now I’m embracing the life I never imagined.
I’m happy I made this decision not just for him but for myself as well. That heavy feeling has been lifted off my chest. I tried searching it deep inside but all I could find was something bright. I’ve never felt this lighter before. I feel like I’m walking on the right path now and I’m willing to keep walking until I reach my final destination.
If you’ve decided to give up your dream job or hard-earned position for the one thing that makes you truly alive, be proud for being brave enough to forget about your title and be very grateful because not everyone is given a choice.
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