How to Avoid Getting Pregnant as a Married Couple

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Not every couple wants to raise kids right away. Some couples desire to wallow in their married life first before parenting. While there are those couples who simply don’t want children at all. This is something others may look down upon. But who cares? The important thing is that the couple is on the same page. By the couple, I mean me and my husband.

We have been under the same roof for almost 5 years now and I’m proud to say that we have been childfree from the get-go. We intend to keep it that way. How do we do that? It’s actually not as difficult as you might think. Since it’s our decision to not reproduce, we do it with full commitment and cooperation. It’s really important to be open and honest with each other. These are the methods that worked or have been working for us. 

Oral Contraceptives

I was on the pill around 4 years ago but I had to discontinue maybe after a year because birth control pills are not available over-the-counter here in Japan. That time, my husband had to buy them online but I was really doubtful about the brand’s authenticity. Also I was experiencing a few minor side effects. But even if I religiously took the pills, we were still both careful during sexual intercourse. This leads us to the next method.

Pull Out Method

Also known as withdrawal method. It’s exactly what it sounds like: your partner has to pull his penis out of your vagina before he ejaculates. My husband does this all the time unless it’s our “safe day”, which means I am not ovulating so it’s safe for him to cum inside me. This method should be done correctly every single time. Ejaculation must be done away from your vagina. I give my whole trust to my husband in this method. He just knows what to do. If you can’t trust your partner with this one, don’t do this! You can still do this but be sure you are days away from your ovulation period.

Condom

We don’t use this now as much as we did before.  When we do use this, my husband still does the pull out method. Or we only use this when I am not fertile. So when there’s a slip up, we’re still safe.

Abstinence from Sex

This is the best method I should say. We just don’t have sex all the time and most especially when my body is telling me that I’m ovulating. After the pill, my menstruation has been regular and I have a period tracking app that’s very useful for me. When the app notifies me of my ovulation period and alerts me that there’s a high chance of getting pregnant, I relay the message to my husband. So we abstain from sex until we are in the clear. And we’re totally okay with it because sex isn’t everything in marriage. Sexual intercourse isn’t the only way to build intimacy. I’d be lying if I said we didn’t get sexually aroused from time to time. Of course, humans as we are, we do get this feeling but we have other ways to release that tension. Safe and clean, take note of that.

As a conclusion, women have the most vital role so you have to pay close attention to your body. Educate yourself with facts. You must know when you are fertile or not because that’s what it’s all about. It’s your responsibility to be aware of it especially if you don’t want an unplanned pregnancy. Then communicate well with your husband. It takes discipline to make this possible. At first it was a little scary but I’ve learned a lot. We have learned a lot over the years. Doing this has taught us to be more attentive to each other. Others might think it’s a boring sex life, but their opinions don’t matter to me. We are content with our life and that’s what matters most.

Author: Sheryl Gim

1990 | Wondering wanderer | Chocolate addict

8 thoughts

  1. Word of caution: we thought we were safe with my copper IUD, and 5 years in (and less than a year married), we conceived our son. I’m so glad we wanted kids, just maybe a few years down the line would’ve been great! Now that I’m not an IUD candidate, we’re having to rely on more methods like these. Thanks for the reminder!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. There’s going to be a 4.5 year gap between my first child and future second child. I am not pregnant with my second child yet. For the longest time I was using the birth control pill but it does not agree with my body. I gained weight like crazy on the progesterone-only pill and the combined pill made me super moody! Then I was told that I could not take the combined pill anymore due to other health issues (I’m high risk for stroke).

    There is one particular method that I swear by but hardly anyone talks about, which is similar to your last point: Natural Family Planning. For those who pay very close attention to their bodies, record their cycles, and have been tracking for a while, I highly recommend this method. You absolutely must track your cycle though. I’ve been using the same period tracker app on my phone for years and it hasn’t failed me yet. For days you think that you are ovulating, use LH test strips and/or VCF (vaginal contraceptive film aka. spermicide).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s probably the reason why Japan doesn’t go easy on oral contraceptives. They can trigger health issues. In my case, I didn’t gain weight but I became super moody.

      This particular method that we both can relate seems difficult for others. You know the tracking and everything. That’s why in my country, unplanned pregnancies and having lots of babies have been a social issue.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I taught myself about natural family planning. The doctors here in Canada didn’t really advocate for it and keep pushing the contraceptives, especially the pharmaceuticals. I’ve heard positive things about IUDs but the thought of getting one makes me cringe. I can’t stand the idea of someone’s poking and prodding down there. So natural family planning it is! There’s some very good books on the market – reading books is how I got started. It’s sad that there isn’t a lot of education about contraceptives and it’s practically every woman for herself.

        Liked by 1 person

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