Choose A Man Who Values You More Than Sex

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I’ve been married for almost 5 years now and I’ve never been sexually violated. Needless to say, my husband isn’t a saint but he has never forced me to have sex with him. He never treats me like an object. Even if I walk around the house in my birthday suit, he doesn’t assume that I want him to do it with me. He can tell when I want it by dropping him hints. Even if he wants to do it but I am not in my best condition, he doesn’t sulk. For that, I try to satisfy him on my own accord. He does the same thing for me. And when we do make love, he doesn’t force me to do things just to please him. We do it like a song that follows a rhythm. Making love with him has never made me feel less about myself.

I guess I’m just so lucky to find someone who values his woman more than his ego. A man who doesn’t think he is above me. A man that doesn’t allow his sexual urges to get the better of him. He is mature enough to understand that just because I am his wife doesn’t mean he can do whatever he wants to my body. Or maybe I love myself enough that I chose him. Marrying him is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. I wonder what he was thinking about me when we were still dating.

I love being married to him. It’s not hard for him to forgive me whenever I snap at him. I’m an emotional person and he’s quite the opposite. But he tries his best to be lenient with me. He doesn’t act arrogant and ask me to do something sensual in return for all the good things he’s done to me and my family. He doesn’t care if I don’t wear any makeup. In fact, it’s what he prefers. He’s learning to pick out the reasons for my mood swing that I go through every now and then. We once had a big fight that I was unexpectedly grateful for because that was the day that I realized how truly blessed I am to have a husband like him. He had every reason to hurt me, swear at me, or even raise his voice at me but he chose to keep his cool and let a day go by for us to reflect. I’ve learned to be more understanding of him. Not everything should go my way or even his. Marriage doesn’t work like that.

Sometimes, I ask myself if he’ll stay this way until the end. That’s something I always pray for. I pray that he won’t get tired of being nice to me. Because I know in my heart that I would still choose him even in another life. 

This is something personal but I’m sharing this to let you know that in this modern era when people turn to online platforms to search for love and end up being hurt, good men still exist. You just have to be really careful. If you’re still searching for a man who will never make you feel small, just be patient. He will come. Just don’t stop believing. You can keep waiting. Or don’t. The choice is yours to make. Just remember, never settle with someone you aren’t sure about. Never settle with him only to escape loneliness. Being alone is better than being with someone who only thinks of you as an object of sexual desire. Men like that will never change. You don’t have the power to change them but you have the power to choose to spend the rest of your life with a man who sees your worth.

Author: The Pinay Ajumma

1990 | Socially awkward | Chocolate addict

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