Sex in Marriage

Some people still cringe at the word sex. I actually come from a place where talking about it in the family is a taboo. Even dragging sex into conversations among friends used to be embarrassing for me. Now that I’m married, I don’t shy away from it anymore. I now believe that sex isn’t a crime or something one should be ashamed to talk about. It’s just that some people do a nefarious scheme that leads to making a stain on its beauty. And some people aren’t enlightened enough to appreciate such gift. Sex is a beautiful thing for me to do now. I feel free. No fear of judgment. Who judges a woman making love to her own husband?

Lately, I’ve been having these questions in my head. When is sex too much in marriage? And when is it healthy? Is it normal to incorporate elements of fantasy and tools? If so, when is it not normal? I could go on and on.

Having been brought up as a Christian, there are certain things about sex I thought are immoral. To name one, using devices to accelerate sexual pleasure. I’ve come to a realization that it’s not like that. I’d like to think that these objects are akin to makeup. They’re made for a reason. If we talk about cosmetics, to enhance your beauty or cover up flaws. When it comes to sex, they are tools to make the intimate moments even more enjoyable as long as the couple sees eye to eye about it. It’s totally up to you if you want to make use of them or not. If you choose to stay away from those things, don’t condemn those who choose the opposite.

Sex in marriage feels tricky for me, though. Not that it’s important to say but I’m 29. I’ve only been married once and it’s only been over 4 years. To be completely honest, I sometimes wonder how other married couples do it. Do they implement rules? How often do they do it? Do they consider it as an obligation now? I guess I still have a lot of things to figure out.

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