He’s not “The One” when..

If he says the magic words on your very first date, you’ll probably get tingles and chills to your spine. Those sweet words your ears long to hear from someone you set eyes on play like a love song and the next thing you know is you find yourself having this wishful thinking that’s echoing in your mind, “He’s the one!”.

Let me pop that bubble, if you don’t mind. 🙂 😀

I am no expert of love and relationships, but I speak of knowledge and of course this thing called experience. The best teacher as they say. To encourage everyone to believe or agree with me is not the aim of this writing, rather to bring to light an insight that was once stored in a little box of shame.

If you’re in a long distance relationship or not and your guy does these things…

1. Always says “I love you”

By saying always, I mean many times a day. These words aren’t casual greetings like “hi” and “hello” that a real guy can easily utter. As he speaks of love, it can be felt genuinely not by how many times but by deeds.

2. Too physically affectionate

Take PDA as an example. In the Philippines, when a couple is seen doing overly deeds of affection just to show off their love, expect to get stares. The “right guy” doesn’t want other people to stare her woman down.

3. Counts his gifts

How can a real guy enumerate things he has given you in times of misunderstanding?

“I gave you this and that, but you still doubt me?”

Hearing him saying this right in front of you is just..d-e-g-r-a-d-i-n-g.

4. Doesn’t introduce you to his friends/family

First 3 months of your relationship is still bearable to understand that he might be looking for the right time and place to acquaint you with his friends and/or family. However, after a year or so and you’re still quite unknown to them, that’s kind of disquieting!

5. Makes promises more than deeds

“I will always love you.” “You’re the only girl for me.” “I want to be with you forever.”

Yeah, it’s so sweet to hear them, isn’t it? Girl, you can’t read the deepest chunk of his mind. Don’t believe his words but wait ’til he takes action of them. I don’t mean to doubt your guy but make your hopes low, not as high as the number of his promises that are still words hovering in the air.

And lastly..which is the most petrifying thing.

6. Encourages you to engage in untimely sexual acts

Kissing is acceptable but if it goes below the belt when it’s not yet the right time, then leave! Bear in mind that lust never lasts. Making out on your first meeting/date is something that tells him how faint and easy you are. Totally not a good idea of getting a boyfriend and making him sincerely love you! Don’t make yourself a prey of a hungry lusty beast. Once he gets what he only wants from you, little by little he changes and turns into someone you used to know. Another thing, if your boyfriend is miles away from you and asks you to send your nude photos and anything lechery, send him a bomb instead! If they say, a little sexy excitement can spice up your long distance relationship, tell them to talk to your hand! The right guy can wait for the right time.

…then he isn’t “The One” for you. Sad but true.


Reserve your best for the right one. You deserve all the love and respect. If you want to be truly loved and be held in respect, make yourself one. 🙂

Author: The Pinay Ajumma

1990 | Socially awkward | Chocolate addict

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