The Struggles of a Hopeless Romantic Woman

Yes, you have just read the title right and that is absolutely what I want to reveal of myself. Spell hopeless romantic, it’s S-H-E-R-Y-L! Oh wait~ that’s me! I can’t hide it anymore. I’ve been assuming that I am not but it’s like I’m just fooling myself. It’s like depriving a little girl get a lick of that very first chocolate ice cream in her whole life. It’s like locking yourself up in an untidy closet. Should I be ashamed of it? Maybe not. Ever since I stepped into the world of romantic relationship, I knew from the start that I am this kind of wishful thinking princess. I love imagining romantic movie scenes coming into life and thinking that I was Lucy (50 First Dates). I even want those fanciful flicks to happen to me in real life. I love to love and being loved. Who doesn’t anyway? I easily get touched by small things done by my special someone to the extent of shedding tears. So much of that! Let’s get down to the things that make me feel like falling from a very high cliff.

1. I can’t get my boyfriend to watch romantic films.

Of course I enjoy watching them alone but hey, it’s a dream come true when “the feels” are shared. Most especially with the person you love the most. Maybe I just lack that convincing power. Nah~ he’s not just into that stuff. I have to learn to accept that sad fact. 

2. I want that #relationshipgoals kind of post on his Facebook.

I’ve seen guys/couples doing those mushy posts and it’s turning me into a green-eyed monster, with all honesty! I did that but I eventually deleted everything. Why? ‘Cause it seems to me that I am the only one who’s head over heels in love with him. I understand that at his age it’s unlikely for him to do such things on Facebook. What will his clients and colleagues think about him? But I feel sad thinking about it.

3. I want to go on a date everyday.

We are in a long distance relationship and it’s impossible for the time being. However, I believe it will come to an end someday. When will that be?

4. Time, please.

I want all his time but it’s not just right. I will be called “the possessive girlfriend” and it’s a big problem. I stay at work 9 hours a day and he works more than that. When you have all the time in the world, then there’s this constant communication. I believe that constant communication makes your love grow fonder. But how can we do it when he is a busy-bee?

5. I want to hear him say the magic words all the time.

As you may know, Korean men, not generally but mostly are known for their “cold/shy personality.” Even Korean dramas can attest to that! I can count the moments he said “I love you” “I miss you”. I just want to be reminded that I am loved. This gives me that feeling of certainty. Is that too much to ask?

These are just the tip of a finger. I can’t pin point every small details that I want my boyfriend to know how much I have fought against myself just to keep him. I want this hopeless romantic girl in me to leave me alone. I want to be free.

Should I wake up and forget about being this princess?

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